Entries by elisabeth howland

THE END OF THE BEGINNING

It was the desire for mashed potatoes that finally pulled me to the grocery store for the first time in nearly a month. I was already in the neighborhood, and though I had basically resigned myself to just making do with what I have from here on out, I have always had a soft spot […]

April 11, 2020 by

THE GREAT EQUALIZER

(Tribute piece to Governor Cuomo) Jesus came this morning to my door with his light and grace depositing success, good health, and happiness. Try to relax, he says. I nod, I feel blessed. He happens to look like Andrew Cuomo, and I find that comforting. “This whole thing is bringing everyone together, hopefully not literally […]

April 6, 2020 by

BONE BROTH AND GARLIC SOCKS

About two weeks into quarantine, my emotions start to get deeper, and I begin to eat more chocolate. I don’t feel like going to the park as much, and I start to develop a sore throat. My first thought is the take-out I got yesterday, in my state of exception. After he smoked a cigarette […]

April 3, 2020 by

IN THE REVOLUTION THERE WILL BE COOKIES

Today I felt the first pangs of loneliness, which caught me off guard. “I got this!” I had said just recently, citing my meditation practice, work as a writer, and inherent introversion. I did not seem to be mourning the loss of social life on any level. Then my apparently invisible internal struggles reared their […]

March 27, 2020 by

SOMETHING DECIDEDLY UNSERIOUS

Aka, The Journey of the Dragon and the Delivery Boy and how they went to find the Big Man in the Sky … Dragons like to sleep. Many dragons can sleep for years on end, if there is nothing interesting happening. This particular dragon was big and black and parked herself in Arturo’s front yard […]

March 22, 2020 by

THE TASK OF COHABITATION

Overnight we are in the midst of a war. Those who can escape to the countryside. Those who can’t are forced to stay. We don’t know for how long we will be confined and separated. That last farewell, fare the well, is left floating in the wind. It is hard not to feel lonely in […]

March 21, 2020 by

COLLECTIVE RESILIENCE

By now people are dying. Many already have, and more will join them. So far, we are the lucky ones. The survivors bearing witness to this once in a generation phenomenon. Human mortality, front and center and fading. The centers of outbreak expand into a diaspora of fatality that almost looks like lace, showing the […]

March 17, 2020 by

Love in the time of COVID-19

The outbreak of a global pandemic seemed as good a time as any to begin microdosing MDMA and LSD. Ego-dissolving empathy-inducing party drugs. A little big of help lightening the heart in the midst of global depression. Be the light, even if you need to add a few extra batteries. The thing is, we don’t […]

March 14, 2020 by

GUT GEMACHT

Gut gemacht. Was ? And that’s the point. It’s not a thing to remember, or even watch. We do not need complicated reasons to love someone. Nor sex, or even romance. Just to love someone’s being in the world, their individual addition, the truth of it. Yet for all the substantial absence, there remains a […]

January 25, 2020 by