Aka,
The Journey of the Dragon and the Delivery Boy and how they went to find the Big Man in the Sky
…
Dragons like to sleep. Many dragons can sleep for years on end, if there is nothing interesting happening. This particular dragon was big and black and parked herself in Arturo’s front yard for all of 11 months before she was unwittingly roused.
But this was no accident, her services were needed. It was a human emergency, the kind humans can’t fix. That’s when they need something big and black that breathes fire and looks intimidating. Dragons are a last resort, really, the magic card kept in the back pocket.
Still, she was unimpressed. Humans always have emergencies and create problems they can’t fix. That is their trademark. Endearing and destructive.
Arturo walked over and lifted a large eyelid. Her pupil shone iridescent like one of the black pearls for which the region is famous. He searched her eye for consciousness, while she stared back, her dilated pupil nearly the size of his whole body.
What do you want?
He started to tell her the story of the Delivery Boy, who couldn’t make his delivery, because he was sick, and had no van. But his delivery was very important. It was going to the Big Man in the Sky. Could she help?
The Dragon thought he was kidding. A delivery to the Big Man in the Sky? This is not the Neverending Story, she said, and rolled over.
But really, Arturo said, It’s important! The Big Man is in charge of everything, and when he doesn’t get his bread, he makes us all pay for it down here. So we made him a special loaf, it’s all ready, and the Delivery Boy is here too. We just need you to take him up there.
To the Big Man in the Sky?
Yes, exactly. Just a quick round trip, you’ll be back to sleep in an hour.
The Dragon was skeptical, but that was her nature. At this point, however, she was increasingly awake, and though it was tempting to go back to sleep, she was no longer certain she could right now. Might be helpful to get some exercise…
So where’s this sick Delivery Boy with no van? Why is he sick?
Well he’s overworked, you see. That’s why he’s going to ask the Big Man a favor. He wants him to be his guardian, so he doesn’t get sick anymore. He thinks if he has the Big Man’s protection, everything will be okay.
The Dragon slowly shifted her weight onto her back feet and began to stretch out her tail, which caused a sharp shattering sound as its black spikes pierced through Arturo’s kitchen window. She unraveled her claws, ripping up the soil underneath them, and by accident exhaled some fire, almost torching Arturo’s long hair. Finally, she stood up.
Man, she said, I’m hungry.
Nooooooooooo problemo Dragerino. I got your back, just like YOU got MINE, ya see.
The Dragon stared at the red-haired Delivery Boy with long dreadlocks approaching.
Excuse me?
I got yer back sister! I’m your man, your Delivery Man, that is ! We’re gonna bring that bread up to the Big Man. I got a lot riding on it, ha, literally, ya know? But really, thanks a bunch, this means a lot to me. Helps me keep my job and such. Ya know. Times are rough. Mom’s got sick. Can’t work anymore. Now I’m sick too, even though I’m laughing, see, gotta keep laughing, that’s the key. Laugh and then ask for help, that’s what she’d say. Actually…that ain’t what she’d say. She’d just laugh. But she can’t right now. She’s just lying there hooked up to some respirator not saying nothing anymore. Gotta ask the Big Man what’s going on with things. Ask him if we can make a deal or something. I hear he likes fresh bread.
The Dragon looked at Arturo, then the Delivery Boy, then sighed.
So is this, what would you call it…an Emergency?
Oh yeah Dragerino, it’s full on. It’s real. The world’s ending, like tomorrow, or maybe yesterday. Who knows. My momma knows sign language though, and she told me she’s got like three days. So we got some time. Just got to get on the road pretty soon… don’t really know exactly where the Big Man lives, ya see? We were hoping you might know. Seeing as you’re all old and wise and stuff.
The Dragon looked at the Delivery Boy, then Arturo, then sighed.
Okay.
Okay? They both look at each other in anticipation.
Okay.
They exchange a glance at the Dragon’s reticence.
Errrr Dragerino, Okay means like you’ll do it, right?
Yes. Okay. But you need to feed me first.
Naaaaa klarrrrrr Dragerino, like I said, I got your back. You want some fresh bread too? We got butter!
No bread.
The Dragon looked up at the sky, then down at the earth, then sighed. When were they ever going to learn to pay attention? Dragons only eat chocolate. That is what is said in the scriptures. And she is special in that, because she is black, she only eats dark chocolate, and preferable pure cacao beans.
Cacao Beans? Like, errr, you mean coffee beans?
No dimwit ! I mean cacao beans. Go do your research, get cacao beans, then come back.
The Delivery Boy looked to Arturo for assistance, who made a small motion with his head towards the house. They both went inside while the Dragon took one last sigh, then settled in to enjoy her moment of snooze.
…
In the kitchen Arturo and the Delivery Boy were hard at work when they heard a sound like thunder from the yard.
Don’t worry, said Arturo, she’s just snoring. Come, here, give me the cinnamon.
The two huddled over a large crockery pot with a bubbling brown liquid. Rather than cacao beans, Arturo had powder, which was basically the same thing just ground up, so he figured it was good enough. Now they were making it into a big pot of hot sweet goodness, cinnamon and sugar and vanilla and for good luck just one pod of black cardamom. They were making it just how his grandmother showed him.
Now, said Arturo, hand me that gold box.
The Delivery Boy looked around, and in the corner of the room saw a small pyramid shaped box. He went and brought it over without opening it.
Now, said Arturo, You need to open that box while singing a Magic Song.
Lucy In the Skyyyyyeye with Diiaaamonds…. without missing a beat the Delivery Boy broke out into chorus while dramatically lifting the lid, not realizing that the lid was connected to the rattling tail of a snake, who had been sleeping.
(Snakes like to sleep also. It’s a cold-blooded animal thing.)
Lucy In the Skyyyyeeye with Diiaaaamonds… it took the Delivery Boy a minute to realize that the rattling sound was not coming from his own making, and then he almost looked shocked. Instead he shrugged, turned to Arturo, and asked, What now man?
Yeah, What now man? said the Snake, stopping to rattle and sticking his tongue in Arturo’s face.
Well we need a bit of your magic power in this chocolate so that the Dragon will know how to find the Big Man in the Sky. That’s what’s up.
What’s it’s worth to you? asked the Snake.
Mmmm…. well. How about my fifth born child?
The snake flicked his head around and considered. Alllright, he said, Your fifth born child. It’s a deal. Then he flicked his rattle on the edge of the crockpot, and a flash of something fluorescent lit up the mixture and caused it to momentarily shimmer. Then the snake slithered back over to the golden box, shot a glance at the Delivery Boy, and retreated back inside, while the Delivery Boy hummed along to the Beatles song and closed the box.
Okay, said Arturo, now we’re finished. Let’s go see about getting that Dragon to take you to the Big Man.
…
Together they brought the large cooking pot full of chocolate outside and set it next to the Dragon’s large nostril. She was breathing deeply in and out, and condensation from her breath had left a puddle on Arturo’s patio. They could see the steaming vapors of the chocolate start to mix with her breath, and suddenly she started awake.
Is that cacao beans?
No, we have something better, Dragerino! It’s HOT chocolate, Mexican-style! We even put in a few special ingredients.
The Delivery Boy wink wink nod nodded over to Arturo, who just rolled his eyes.
Special ingredients? The Dragon was suspicious.
Heyyyyy, said the Delivery Boy, Don’t panic….it’s organic!
The Dragon sniffed the chocolate, then said decisively, You need to get me a straw.
I’m sorry, Dragon, Arturo said. I have no straws. They were outlawed because they kill fish in the ocean.
Then his eyes lit up and he looked over his shoulder at the bamboo growing in the corner. Wait! he said quickly, I’ve got something! He grabbed a machete and went to chop the largest stalk down. After trimming off the leaves he proudly brought it back and placed it in the chocolate.
Here you go, he said.
Drink up Dragerino! said the Delivery Boy. Time’s a-wasting and my momma only has 2 and a half days left to live !
But the Dragon was already finished, and looking much more lively. Hop up, she said. But be careful! My scales are very delicate.
They waved goodbye to Arturo and started to fly up into the air.
Hey wait! Don’t forget the bread!
Arturo ran into the house and come back with a backpack full of fresh bread, which he threw up to the Delivery Boy. With a whoosh, the Dragon took off.
…
So where’s this Big Man of yours? asked the Dragon.
That’s what YOU are supposed to know, said the Delivery Boy. That’s why we gave you the special ingredients.
The Dragon sighed gruffly and turned back to the sky. Why is she always supposed to be in charge? But actually, she kind of liked it that way. And in any case, she knew a Big Man in the Sky. She wasn’t sure if he was THE Big Man in the Sky, but he was big enough, and usually around.
She took a sharp turn and headed into the clouds.
Hey Mama Dragerino, where you going?
To the Cloud Bank, she said, need to get some cash. Big Man likes offerings.
But I thought he liked bread?
They had just turned back onto their course when they heard a gleeful shout and saw a VERY Big Man come surfing down one of the nearby clouds, using his long white beard as a board and looking decidedly unruly.
The Dragon roared a greeting and blew out a lungful of fire, which was very impressive and managed to stop the Big Man in his tracks.
Woah woah Mamasita, happy to see you too, but careful of the beard!
The Big Man sat down on the cloud and the Dragon hovered in midair in front of him. They spoke briefly in a language the Delivery Boy couldn’t understand, then the Big Man turned to him –
So you need a Guardian, huh?
The Dragon nudged the Delivery Boy and he held out the bread.
Alllllright, said the Big Man. I’m gonna give you a Protection Charm. You just gotta say it every time you feel unwell or afraid, and then everything will be okay.
He leaned forward and whispered into the Delivery Boy’s ear.
Cow-a-bung-a?
Yeaaaaaaaa man. Cowabunga! It’s like the Hakuna Matata of the clouds.
The Delivery Boy nodded slowly…. Cowabunga man!
The Dragon rolled her eyes, then dropped the roll of clouds at the feet of the Big Man.
He looked pleased and started fingering through the clouds.
Cowabunga Dragerino! said the Delivery Boy.
Let’s go home! Mama’s gonna be so glad to hear she ain’t gonna die!